Rest in Peace, Helly!

Today I was preparing things to go to meditation center and wanted to see Heli this morning. Remember that I “promise” to take a pic of us? It had been couple weeks I was out of Bali so I cant wait to come back to meditation center. But then my friend told me that Heli actually already passed away couple weeks ago. He was missing one day after my last visit and his body found near rice field by farmer. I was crying for couple hours realizing that I was not ready to hear this sad news. I just had met him and felt that he can fill a part of my “empty” space on my heart about lost my dog, and then suddenly he is “taken”.

When I came to meditation center, I told to Jero Mangku there that I was so sad and had my heart broken about Heli. His wife ~who I m sure also felt sad about Heli ~ tried to cheer me up.

“Well, don’t worry, he had wonderful life and must be in a place which make him happy too now. If you believe about incarnation, I am sure we can meet him again in different way. I am sure there was nothing happened to him but it just because he was quite old. It’s might be his time to go”, she said.

Then I realize how selfish that I was only thinking about my grieving, angry that I lost Heli as my friend. I did not think that maybe this even the best for Heli for any reason. Heli was very old for a dog and was under medication for long period regarding his health issue.

After couple hours at meditation center, I felt “normal” again.Heli was pop up couple time on my mind during meditation. But the words from Jero mangku’s wife also were kept playing in my mind. It reminds me that I should not let myself have more grieving about Heli. It was great I can let my emotional released by crying, but not let myself have deep sadness. I also remember how one of my mentors also lost his furry friend who was with him and family for years. He said, “Indeed it was so hard, but we should try to accept it and back to normal life’, he answered when I asked about his feeling.

Some people maybe are smiling and can’t understand why lost fury friend could be that hard. Because love is form of energy and they are always around us. Love can come from human, animals, even plant. When you can feel it then you can enjoy it, you can accept it and also can give it back to them.

I also remember that one book I read mentioned that when the love which you get from people or soul that you love is went away; the love is actually still left inside our heart and will reborn in the name of new life. That is why it’s important to let our heart being opened, not blocked by grieving feeling.

When I was kid, I lost my dog, Doreng. I was with him when he had his last breath. My family on that moment had several dogs, but Doreng was like a legend for us. He was my best friend (my mother was also love him so much which made me felt jealous that she love Doreng much more than me LOL). Then couple years ago, I met Tolci the Kintamani dog which was pretty close to me. Tolci was reminding me about Doreng. When Tolci die, I felt so down as Tolci was die in very young age and I cant be with him when he was sick. When I met Heli, I felt like Tolci present was replaced by Heli.

Once again, Heli taught me about love. He was there to cure my grieving about Doreng and Tolci. And when he is away now, he reminds me that it’s true, “dogs leave a paw prints forever on our hearts.”

Rest in peace Heli. You will meet Doreng and Tolci soon in heaven probably